It's a New Year!

It's another a January 1, another opportunity to make resolutions and grand plans for the year.  This year, just like last year, I would like to write more, exercise more, make more crafts, make more music, make more food (never seem to have difficulties fulfilling that one.)  But this year, I most want to be less anxious and have fewer regrets.  So I am not writing any of these resolutions down, but just going with the flow a little more.

One thing I will do, however is to start a "Blessings" jar.  The idea is that every time something good happens, you write a note describing what happened and put it in the jar.  At the end of the year, you'll open the jar and read about all the good things that happened.  What a wonderful way to celebrate the end of a year.  It's so easy to remember the bad stuff and forget the good stuff.  This is a great way to put things in perspective.

Here's to a great 2013!

What are little boys made of?

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails
That's what little boys are made of !"
What are little girls made of?
"Sugar and spice and all things nice
That's what little girls are made of!"

This familiar nursery rhyme goes back to the 19th Century but how far have we come since then?

On Thursday, our whole family attended a lovely little ceremony at my third child's school, in which we celebrated the induction of six 7th graders into the National Junior Honor Society.  To quote the principal, there was only one thing wrong with the picture--every student on the stage (current members and inductees) is female except for one. 


Why is there only one boy in this group, in a gifted school where being smart is not at all a liability and where are there roughly the same boys and girls?  In fact, in our third child's grade, there is one more boy than girl.  Is it because few boys apply to join the honor society?  Or is it because the same number of boys apply as girls and fewer boys are accepted?   My suspicion is the former.

The gender achievement gap in education is well documented in the academic literature and is being discussed more and more in the popular press as well.  But in a school where students have already been selected because of higher academic achievements and standardized scores, and where parents are traditionally informed and engaged, the picture on the stage on Thursday was surprising and disappointing.

So what are our little boys today made of?  What are we telling them?  What are they telling themselves?  Are academic honor societies "uncool", and if so, why is that? Just as we need to encourage girls to continue to play sports beyond elementary school, we need to encourage boys to continue to be engaged in academic clubs beyond elementary schools.


Let's hope that we can change our conceptions about what boys and girls "ought" to be doing over the next 200 years.  Sooner perhaps.

Integration of services

Yesterday, I attended a conference on serving immigrant survivors of family violence organized by a consortium of legal advocacy and domestic violence service organizations in Chicago.

The information shared was wonderful, as was the turnout.  It was very heartening to see so many legal, mental health, and social service professionals who are passionate about serving those who are survivors of family violence and who are thoughtful in their questions and discussions of the issues involved in this very complex topic.

The biggest challenge I see is in the integration of services.  Yesterday's conference focuses on the complexities language and cultural differences bring to the table of an already complex constellation of biological, social, and mental effects violence has on the individual survivor.  But organizations that typically serve immigrants tend to focus on food, health, and jobs, and not on mental health, legal advocacy, and other "more complex" needs.  So even at that level, we have a lack of integration of services.  While these types of conferences are great at bringing everyone and the different issues to the table, let's hope that the conversations and the collaborations continue and deepen even after everyone returns to his or her respective organizations.

And the livin' is easy

June is finally here.  Even though the outside temperature is still a cool 60-something, the pace at our busy household has changed a bit.  The youngest child has field trips almost daily, thanks to teachers who have already mentally checked out or who are working to accommodate kids who have already mentally checked out.  Our third child's numerous after school activities including track, concert band, jazz band, and saxophone lessons, have also begun their summer hiatus. Our big girl has graduated from high school a week and a half ago and have join the ranks of teenagers  trolling for summer jobs on the Internet all day long.  And our second child--well he, er--has finally started making his mad dash towards the finish from behind.

The brighter days and longer days draws my heart outside.  I want to run more, walk more, swim more, barbecue more, dance more, garden more. Yet, there never seems to be enough time. And there always seems to be work waiting to be done.

At my husband's college reunion last weekend, we were shocked that people did not look like their 20-year-old selves that were frozen in our minds.   Yes, most people in their mid-40's do in fact look middle-aged.  So whether we feel it or not, we probably look middle-aged to other people too.  Time doesn't stand still, and it's passage is only noticed when had the occasion to look back.

It's summertime. It's time to live a little easier.  Because time keeps marching forward, whether you enjoyed it or not.  So it is more fun if you enjoyed it.

Inspiration and Motivation

The past few weeks I have enjoyed getting together with friends.  One friend urged me to write, either a blog, or articles, or books, she said, and she "will read it".  Thanks Sandy, for the encouraging.  It brings me a smile to know that at least one friend will read my ramblings.

Then another friend who has been doing some creative writing shared a tip with me--write anywhere and anytime you want by using Evernote. I've had Evernote on my iPhone and iPad for a while now, and have been taking boring meeting notes on these, but it hadn't occurred to me that it could be used as a virtual writing pad, because I can access an updated note anywhere. My friend V has been writing in coffee shops, while waiting in the grocery checkout, on the sidelines of her child's sports practices, etc.  She said she is the most productive in the "car line" waiting to pick up her child from school!

As the queen of unfinished projects (I have an afghan I started knitting when I was a sophomore in college, and many, many other half-finished and not-yet-started projects since then) as well as the master of to-do lists (including an increasingly long list of "books to be written), I vow that I will take advantage of Evernote to finally start some of those "books to be written".

This will still be a less-refined collection of random thoughts and musings, but will serve well as the springboard of some of the Evernote entries.

Book Review: The Missional Mom

What a joy it is to read Helen Lee's The Missional Mom:  Living with Purpose at Home and in the World (Moody Publishers:  Chicago, IL) after reading Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (Penguin Press).  Although the book is written from the perspective of a Christian mother, the same principles of missional living can be applied to dads and to non-parents as well.

Lee's writing is lively and insightful.  The book integrates Scripture and real-life stories both to inspire and to challenge Christian to live out their faiths.  Questioning the stereotypical Christian belief that moms should focus inside the home and not outside the home, Lee challenges us to lift our eyes up from the home and turn to God himself instead.  Focusing on material comfort or on achievements are not what God intends for us to do.  He wants us to help further His kingdom, wherever we are.

And that sometimes not only means giving up something that we ourselves hold dear.  It may also mean sacrifices for the family as well.  Putting God first really means that nothing else can be put first.  So a mother's first calling is not to her family after all, but to God.

Fortunately practicing being a missional mom is not as daunting as it may seem.  Using real life examples of missional moms, Lee shows us how to integrate our mission with our lives.  She asked us to examine not only where we want to be, but also where each of us is now.  What gifts has God given me, and how can I use them to his glory?  Who are the people He has put me in contact with every day, and how can I bring them closer to Him?  What are the issues He has placed on my heart to care about and how can I work on these issues for His glory and to further His kingdom?

These are questions and challenges not only for moms, but also for anyone.  Lee skillfully leads us into the heart of God by breaking down the worldly barriers one by one.  Her engaging style invites us to follow her and other missional moms to keep our minds, hearts, and lives open to others.

Four thumbs up for the Nook Color

My dear husband bought me Barnes and Noble's new Nook Color for my birthday.  So for past 15 days or so, I was having fun playing with the new toy. And then this past weekend, my 9-year-old son start reading children's books on my new Nook as well.  Both of us have enjoyed using the device thus far.

I have always been an avid reader.  I devour everything that is printed, be it books, magazines, newspapers, academic journals... When I was a child I even read the dictionary, the telephone book, street signs, and food labels for fun.  So I was not sure at first if I would like an E-reader.  Holding a pad just doesn't seem the same as turning pages.  But the Nook Color is so easy to use and has so many features that the print medium cannot offer that I am officially sold.

First, the device is very easy to carry around.  Measuring only 8.1 inches by 5 inches and less than 0.5 inches thick, it is about the same size as a small note pad.  And it weighs less than one pound.  So it is convenient to tuck into either the purse or the briefcase.  The battery holds 8 hours of charge with the wireless off, but I haven't had to test this out yet.  Second, the back-lit screen makes it easy to read during the day as well as at night, and the colors on the screen are quite vivid, especially when reading magazines.  Page-loading and page-scrolling are both fast, which is essential for me, because I am a fast reader, and don't want an e-reader to slow down by one-minute-per-page reading speed. The best feature is the Nook special "article read" function that allows you to read entire magazine articles in one column, using finger swipes on the touch screen to scroll down.

The Nook Color also connects to the internet through a wireless connection and I was able to browse the web, watch Youtube videos, listen to music via Pandora, and connect to Facebook and Twitter without any problems.  I even shared a quote from a book I was reading on Facebook.  The only drawback is that there is not support for flash games, so I couldn't play Wordscraper games on Facebook, but then this is just an E-reader, not a tablet PC, so one can't expect it to be able to support games as well.]

For an E-reader, the Nook is fantastic.  Some of the bells and whistles such as bookmarks, highlights, and notes took a little practice to master, but in general, the Nook reads well, navigates well, and you can even share quotes via social media and lend and borrow books (but only if the books are designated lendable by the publisher, and library books cannot be lent out.)

My 9-year-old has been busy downloading free classics such as Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book.  He had less trouble fingering out how to use bookmarks then I did.  While we have not tried MP3 books yet, I am sure that is not far into the future.

So our adventures into Nook Color Land for the past half a month has been quite enjoyable.  The device is definitely the best E-reader in the market thus far, and gets four thumbs up total from this mom-and-son review team.